Tag Archives: vegan


If you have to be vegan, well… there’s really no excuse for it. Just stfu about it. We (and I’m speaking for the entire world here) do not care. Quit trying to sell us your bullshit vegan propaganda.

You can call it vegan leather all you want to, but it’s plastic. And that vegan burger? Honey, that’s a black bean patty. And since we’re being honest, that whole “vegan” thing you’re clinging to so desperately? Yeah, you’re just a vegetarian with weird entitlement issues. And we all know you’re quietly hoping someone will give you some ground chuck in place of that slimy bean situation you’ve got going on over there.


Nice to Meat You

If you have to be vegan, could you please just shut up about it?

Is it the taste? I get that you have a glass of wine (or don’t drink at all) because you don’t like the taste of beer, but I’ve NEVER heard a vegan/vegetarian say they don’t eat meat because they don’t like the taste of bacon. It’s always some bleeding heart story about which my meat-loving self could not begin to care.

Is it because veganism/vegetarianism is against popular opinion (and logic, but that’s another story) that they have to be so outspoken? Maybe, but guess what, folks…you don’t have to blather on about it. Here’s an example: everyone seems to love them for some reason, but I hate the Beatles. The difference here is that I don’t tell everyone and try to convince them that their taste in music is stupid or wrong or unenlightened. I just silently [internally] smile, knowing that other people like crappy music.

Do they feel like they’re doing everyone a service by saying the rest of us are terrible people and we should all watch Food Inc.? Ugh. No one needs to hear your personal PSA.

Recognize that choosing to not eat meat is just that–a choice. It’s a personal choice. I’m not going to say a darn thing when you order pasta with marinara at dinner, so you’d better shut your mouth about my steak.