Tag Archives: elevator

On Roundabouts and Revolving Doors

If you have to pause to think before using a roundabout or a revolving door, you might want to consider sparing the rest of us by simply taking another way. Also, if you feel the need to be that guy who goes too quickly or too slowly through either of the above, please either step aside or drive off the nearest cliff.

Oh! And don’t be the person who runs up the escalator and then is all sweaty and panting on the back of my neck. You clearly don’t understand the 4 steps of separation rule.*

Don’t be the idiot who tries to do some sort of social experiment by standing too close to other people in elevators.** You don’t have your own prank show on TV. You’re not funny, TRAVIS. No one even likes you.

Also, I’m currently super-hating on the lady in the elevator who expects me to push the button for her floor (*raises eyebrows* “9, please.”). She always gives me a weird look when I say, “Ha! Yeah right,” and back away from the buttons. Nothing against elevator operators, but um… yeah, I def don’t look like an elevator operator.

In closing, either participate in society and live by its norms or just get out.

This means you, Travis. And take elevator lady with you.

*Does not apply in airports
**The person who does this invariably smells awful. (Yes, you, Travis.)