Pal Analysis – Part 1

If you have to ask the question of whether or not you and I can be friends, I’ve composed a few basic questions you can ask yourself (and score) before bothering me with your inane request for friendship.

  1. Do you have an iPhone? If no, don’t bother me. I have neither the patience nor the time for you and your Android bullshit.
  2. Friends or Seinfeld? The correct answer is yes.
  3. Do you drink wine? Okay, you don’t have to know the difference between a Cabernet Sauvignon and a Pinot Noir, but you do have to be open to drinking it. Or else.
  4. Where would you rather hang out–the beach or a driving range? Either or both are perfectly acceptable, actually.
  5. Do you use your turn signal in a roundabout? If you do, go hang out with the Android people who were eliminated by question #1.

These are just the basics–the fundamental building blocks upon which any good friendship is based.

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