If you have to lose some weight or whatever and you decide to go to the gym and diet, you should probably tell everyone about it.
- post #runbrags on Twitter (e.g., “OMG I just totally runned five miles and I’m all sweaty and awesome.”)
- write long-winded narratives on Facebook about your struggle and how you’re clearly better than everyone else
- post paleo recipes on Instagram, even though you don’t have a damn clue what “paleo” means
- go gluten-free because obviously gluten makes your glutes big, and who wants flabby glutes, amirite?!
- buy shirts with idiotic sayings like “Try to Keep Up ❤ omg wtf lol”
- wear those stupid shirts with yoga pants to the grocery store so everyone can see that you’re a super-duper athlete
Or you could just shut the fuck up, stop eating an entire pizza at one sitting, and go to the gym.
Yeah. Do that.