The Slow Burn’ll Getcha

If you have to be mad at me–and let’s be honest, if you know me at all IRL, there has been at least one occasion in which I’ve pissed you off–let’s just talk about it and get it done. Like right now. Start talking. Tell me what I did, so that way I can apologize (or not) and we can go on with our lives.

What I can’t handle are the slow burners.

These are the people who have a reason (flimsy or otherwise) to be mad at you (or me, or someone else, or the world), and they’ve had that reason simmering on the back burner for a month. A WHOLE MONTH. They’ve dehydrated whatever this alleged thing is, and it’s about to catch fire.

All of the sudden, out of nowhere, it’s like:

  • “I heard what you said about me to Becky on the phone!” My question is, which time, bitch? I always complain about you to Becky!
  • [in front of the whole office] “You borrowed $1.00 from me three weeks ago and never paid me back!” I did WHAT? Here’s $50. Shut up and never speak to me again.
  • “You rolled your eyes at me during my wedding last summer.” I had just had lasik two days before that. Did you notice that I also used eye drops about 17 times at your reception? Seriously? You’ve been stewing over this for how long?!

See… it’s just not worth it (well, maybe except for the middle case–she made $49 and an enemy for life). Sort out your problems with me when they occur.

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