Snow Smugness

If you have to live in an area that has, you know, seasons… you’d better shut your damn mouth if you’re a fan of that white shit that falls from the sky when it’s cold.

I semi-voluntarily live in a part of the country that has annual temperatures that range from -30 to 100 degrees Fahrenheit. Yeah, it’s probably my fault that I live here, but that doesn’t give you the right to dance around and sing when there’s a blizzard happening outside.

Show some respect. Some of us legit suffer in the winter. Our skin gets dry and chapped, we have to wear less-than-cute clothes to beat the cold, we can’t use our phones while wearing fur-lined gloves, we have to apply lip balm constantly, we can’t get a decent salad anywhere because restaurants only want to sell calorie-laden comfort food, we have to drive our cars on icy roads alongside people who have no idea what they’re doing, and to top it all off, we have to listen to your smug, pro-winter praises. Please just stop it–or else I’ll be forced to dance around in a bikini in front of you as soon as the temp hits 80 degrees. Take that, Jessica.

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