Driving Me Nuts

If you have to drive on the same roads as me, for the love of all things holy, do not be a complete and utter fucking moron.

1. Roundabouts:  I live in an area that is absolutely chock-full of roundabouts. USED CORRECTLY, they save a lot of time and keep traffic flowing that would otherwise be stopped at a light or a sign. When morons come on the scene, roundabouts are frightening and dangerous. One time, I watched an old dude TURN LEFT and somehow not kill anyone.

2. Highways:  You know that Beyoncé song that’s all, “to the left, to the left…” Yeah, well, she wasn’t talking to you unless you’re going at least 10 over the posted speed limit. Your slow ass can stay in the right lane.

3. Changing Lanes:  You do not need to slow down, stop, or otherwise disturb the flow of traffic in your lane (or any other lane for that matter!) in order to switch lanes. You do, however, need to USE A TURN SIGNAL.

4. Parking:  Seriously, unless your car is worth over $100k, don’t you dare take up more than one parking space. I get it that you like your Prius, but if someone opens their car door into it, who cares? It’s a Prius. You’re a douche. You had it coming to you.

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