Aging Sorostitutes

If you have to regularly talk about your fraternity or sorority, and you’re over the age of 30, please recognize that everyone feels a little bit bad for you that you can’t let go of the past. Your life makes me sad.

Hey Jenni (of course it’s with an i), you’re almost 40, you have some pretty significant wrinkles, and you’re standing here chanting your little sluthouse mantra. You’re depressing everyone. Let it go.

Guys, you’re not exempt from this. When you incessantly talk about house cups and keg stands with your bros, the rest of us pity the fact that the best time of your life was a decade ago and you feel the need to revisit those memories on a regular basis.

Disclaimer: I was in a co-ed service fraternity in college, and was the president of my pledge class.


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