Jall-AH-pin-oh Pepparz

If you have to use foreign words (or “borrowed” words into your own language), please don’t mispronounce them. You think you sound smooth and cultured, but you sound like an idiot (or a wannabe douche, and that’s probably worse).

Example: “I’m a huge wine afishonaydo.”

Really? A fish tornado? Do yourself a favor and just say “fan.” Also, drinking wine from a box and/or only drinking Riesling with ice cubes in it doesn’t make you an expert, a connoisseur, or even someone who can has a wine preference. (If I hear you talking about the “nose” of a particular “varietal” of Smirnoff Ice–you moron–I will have to smack you around just a little bit.)

And while I’m on the topic of stupid fans and fans of stupid… Loving Ryan Gosling movies OMG lmao wtf ❤ rotfl totally does not mean you're a fan of the arts. It means you like a mediocre actor with an unwarrantedly huge following of teen girls.

Watch it with designer names, too, slick. Don't try to pronounce Givenchy. Anything you might guess is incorrect. Also, do us all a favor and please stop saying Ralph Lor-EN. It’s LORE-in, like a girl’s first name. (Watch Friends… Rachel knows.)

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One thought on “Jall-AH-pin-oh Pepparz”

  1. THANK YOU!! The mispronunciation of designer names drives me up a friggin WALL! “Ralph Laur-EN”, because people are trying to sound cultured and sophisticated but they fail to realize that their incorrect pronunciation is only displaying their ignorance and having the exact opposite of their intended effect. LAUR-en. LAUR-en. LAUR-en.

    I love that you gave Givenchy as another example. Theyskens, Yves Saint Laurent, and Nicolas Ghesquiere are good ways to spot a fool, too!

    Liked by 1 person

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