All Tied Up in Pink Ribbon

If you have to use a color for your business/cause/marketing, could you not use my favorite color?

Okay, so this isn’t a rant against Susan B. Komen per se, but OH. MY. GOODNESS. I can’t buy a pink pen without it being festooned with a ribbon. Essentially, if you are over the age of seven and want to purchase anything (ANYTHING) for yourself in pink, you’ll be supporting breast cancer (or not supporting it, or supporting an organization that supports it?). Komenitis hasn’t yet affected baby clothes, but that’s probably coming soon.

Want a pink umbrella? Sorry…you’ll have to buy this one with a ribbon on it. Pink water bottle? Ribboned. Pink sports equipment? ALL RIBBONED.

The only safe place left is Victoria’s Secret PINK–a store at which one can purchase many unribboned, rosy-hued items that are plastered with the word PINK, and that’s a lot better than SUSAN B. KOMEN BREAST CANCER SOMETHING RACE FOR CURE RIBBON BOOYAH SOMETHING greeting everyone from your backside. Also at VS PINK, you can buy a neon green shirt that says PINK because THEY ARE UNBOUND BY COLOR NORMS. (It’s also the best place in the universe to study for a Stroop test. Ya with me, psychology pals?)

Imagine if a testicular cancer awareness organization (Susie B. Scrotum Foundation) exploited the heck out of the color blue. Blue jeans would be BALL JEANS. Instead of those stupid “Check your boobs” t-shirts, we’d see “Rub my nuts” t-shirts. Men’s running shoes would have ribbons all over them. And EVERY GOLF ITEM WOULD HAVE A RIBBON ON IT. Now all of those golf euphemisms would really make sense! …I think I’ll stop there.

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