Overexposed Oversharers

If you have to overshare every second of your entire life in social media (*ahem* Facebook *ahem*), know that some people do not care. Some of us have happily opted out of all that mess.

Not being on Facebook absolves a person of so much social responsibility. I don’t have to keep track of what’s going on in anyone’s lives unless they’ve gone out of their way to tell me verbally or via text/email. I don’t have to deal with “How could you not know we broke up/repainted the living room/flew to Mars over the weekend?! I posted it on Facebook!!”

Also:

1) I haven’t had to see grainy pictures of what’s going on in Brianna’s uterus.

2) I don’t have to be subjected to pictures of people’s nasty feet all summer. (See “Foot Selfies”)

3) I somehow manage to sleep every night without reading descriptions and seeing pictures of the drool puddle your pet (dog? cat? kid? spouse?) left in the hallway.

4) I don’t feel obligated to “like” anything… Not your selfies, not the idiotic picture you took of something you wrote on a lined piece of paper, and not your status update telling the world that you ran half a mile and now you think you’re some sort of an Olympic athlete.

5) Oh…and I don’t have to pretend to enjoy your poetry. (Is it a haiku? A limerick?)

In closing, folks, this doesn’t mean I don’t love my friends and family. I simply don’t want to know what type of body wash they use.

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