Derp Derp, Doctor! Derp!!!

If you have to see a medical doctor, the doctor’s staff should give you an examination. On paper. To see if you’re an idiot.

After a ridiculous 20 minutes (of my life I’ll never get back) of talking to my new (now old–I’m not going back to this douchebag) doctor, I found myself telling him my educational background and medical experience so he’d stop treating me like some backwoods hillard who had never heard of healthcare or medical treatment. Ugh.

It’s true that some people will go to a doctor, list symptoms, and wait for a medical mastermind to put the pieces together to come up with a diagnosis. (Your fingertip hurts, there’s blood, your skin seems to be open in a straight line… Hmm… PAPERCUT! Here’s a Band-Aid. That’ll be $250.)

Some other folks will type a few words about their stubbed toe into WebMD and only be able to come up with “cancer.” They go into hysterics and demand to be treated immediately.

Others of us, however, will have put symptoms together, done some online research, used some logic, and come up with a reasonable explanation of what could be wrong. We essentially just need a doctor to confirm our [quite reasonable] self-diagnosis in order to prescribe the treatment we’ve already figured out that we need. (“Hello, doctor. I have strep throat. Please confirm and then prescribe amoxicillin. I have no known contraindications.”)

This is one of the many things that’s so messed up about healthcare in this country. Treating intelligent people and morons the same way just bogs down the system.


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